The Great Capital Con Game

[A] Switzerland—Zurich | Switzerland keeps things modest with Bern as its capital. Zurich just handles all the money and throws better parties, which apparently confuses everyone including Swiss tourists themselves.

[C] Tanzania—Dar es Salaam | Tanzania packed up and moved to Dodoma, but forgot to tell most of the world. Dar es Salaam still gets all the mail and keeps the beach views.

[B] Netherlands—The Hague | Amsterdam wears the crown while The Hague does the paperwork. This governmental split personality has confused more tourists than Dutch bike lanes ever will.

[D] Turkey—Istanbul | Ankara runs the country while Istanbul gets all the postcards. One has parliament, the other has two continents—guess which one tourists remember?

[B] Sweden—Gothenburg | Stockholm rules Sweden, not Gothenburg. Sure, Gothenburg has Volvo and great seafood, but Stockholm has the crown jewels and ABBA museum, so there.

[D] Kazakhstan—Almaty | Kazakhstan's capital is now Astana (after a few name changes). Almaty still has the best restaurants and nightlife, making Astana look like the responsible sibling nobody invites to parties.

[A] New Zealand—Auckland | Wellington runs the country while Auckland hogs the spotlight. Classic case of the biggest kid in class not being class president.

[C] Spain—Barcelona | Madrid holds the throne while Barcelona gets the beach, Gaudí, and Messi's old jersey. Politics versus paella—we know which one wins Instagram.

[D] Czech Republic—Brno | Prague is the capital of the Czech Republic; Brno is the second-largest city and a judiciary hub, not the national capital.

[B] Canada—Toronto | Ottawa politely runs Canada while Toronto rudely takes all the credit. Even Canadians sometimes forget Ottawa exists, and they're too nice to correct anyone.

[A] South Africa—Johannesburg | Plot twist: South Africa has THREE capitals! Pretoria (executive), Cape Town (legislative), Bloemfontein (judicial). Johannesburg just has the gold and attitude.

[C] Morocco—Casablanca | Rabat runs Morocco, but nobody quotes "Rabat" in romantic movie scenes. Here's looking at you, wrong city that everyone thinks is the capital.

[B] India—Mumbai | New Delhi governs while Mumbai makes the money and movies. Bollywood beats bureaucracy in the fame game every single time.

[D] China—Shanghai | Beijing holds the power; Shanghai holds the cash. One has the Forbidden City, the other has the best soup dumplings. Tough call, but politics wins.

[A] Brazil—São Paulo | Brasília's been the capital since 1960, but São Paulo still acts like it owns the place. Twenty million residents can't all be wrong, can they?

[B] Colombia—Medellín | Bogotá calls the shots while Medellín wins innovation awards. Eternal spring weather doesn't automatically make you the capital, apparently.

[D] United Arab Emirates—Dubai | Abu Dhabi runs the UAE while Dubai builds islands shaped like palm trees. Government work versus gold-plated everything—which would you remember?

[A] Vietnam—Ho Chi Minh City | Hanoi governs Vietnam while Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon) parties. North rules, south deals—a tale as old as reunification.

[C] Indonesia—Bali | Jakarta runs Indonesia's 17,000 islands while Bali just runs Instagram. Yoga retreats don't equal governmental power, surprisingly.

[B] Greece—Thessaloniki | Athens still holds the crown after 3,000 years. Thessaloniki makes great souvlaki but Socrates didn't philosophize there, so Athens wins.

[D] Scotland—Glasgow | Edinburgh is Scotland's capital (though Scotland's part of the UK). Glasgow has the music scene and deep-fried Mars bars, but Edinburgh has the castle.

[A] Ukraine—Kharkiv | Kyiv runs Ukraine while Kharkiv builds tractors. Both start with 'K' and have five letters, which apparently breaks some people's brains.

[C] Croatia—Dubrovnik | Zagreb governs Croatia while Dubrovnik stars in fantasy shows. Dragons and city walls are cool, but parliament meetings happen in Zagreb.

[D] Libya—Benghazi | Tripoli runs Libya, though Benghazi keeps making headlines. Eastern challenger versus western capital—a Mediterranean classic since ancient times.

[A] Portugal—Porto | Lisbon leads while Porto pours the wine. One has government buildings, the other has port wine cellars. Tough choice after three glasses.

[A] Canada—Vancouver | Vancouver has mountains and mild weather, but Ottawa has Parliament Hill and poutine politics. Sorry, West Coast, the capital stays east.

[C] Myanmar—Yangon | Myanmar built Naypyidaw in the jungle and called it capital. Yangon kept the people, businesses, and common sense.

[C] Czech Republic—Ostrava | Prague runs the Czech Republic while Ostrava mines coal. Industrial powerhouse doesn't mean political powerhouse—Prague's got the castle to prove it.

[D] Nigeria—Lagos | Abuja took over in 1991, but Lagos still acts like the boss. Twenty million people create traffic jams that make you forget who's really in charge.

[A] Palau—Koror | Palau moved to Ngerulmud but most Palauans stayed in Koror. Smallest capital city in the world? More like loneliest—population: 400.