Exit, Pursued by a Quote (Part 3)

[D] Measure for Measure | Claudio discovers that hope is basically prison Prozac when you're waiting for execution in Shakespeare's darkest "comedy."

[B] King Lear | Lear learns that dividing kingdoms among kids is worse than reading their text messages—pure parental horror.

[C] The Winter's Tale | Leontes cries happy tears sixteen years late, after destroying everything based on zero evidence and pure paranoia.

[A] Richard III | Shakespeare accidentally writes the most overused headline for political articles, courtesy of everyone's favorite backstabbing hunchback.

[A] King Lear | Lear recognizes the exit ramp to crazy town and politely declines, then takes it anyway at full speed.

[B] Coriolanus | Citizens define democracy while Coriolanus stands there thinking "ugh, people" like ancient Rome's biggest introvert.

[B] Macbeth | Malcolm prescribes therapeutic crying after Macduff gets the worst news via Medieval Scotland's slowest messaging system.

[C] Hamlet | Hamlet holds his childhood clown's skull, inventing both memento mori and inappropriately touching cemetery artifacts simultaneously.

[A] King Lear | Edmund calls his bastardy beautiful, making illegitimacy sound like a spa treatment rather than social suicide.

[B] Macbeth | The witches schedule their next supernatural Zoom meeting, starting literature's most influential girl gang prophecy club.

[D] Macbeth | Macbeth blames time itself for his murder spree, because personal accountability is so last century.

[D] Twelfth Night | Orsino gets weirdly specific about temperature preferences, making Renaissance romance sound like a wine review.

[B] Twelfth Night | Sebastian declares Olivia super dead (she's not), because jumping to conclusions is Illyria's favorite sport.

[C] A Midsummer Night's Dream | Titania describes nature getting weird, basically blaming relationship drama for climate change before it was trendy.

[C] The Merchant of Venice | From The Player Queen's speech, comparing heartbreak to hunting in the most extra way possible.

[D] Romeo and Juliet | Romeo realizes he's fate's punchline right after killing Tybalt, finally understanding the tragedy's title.

[D] Othello | The understatement of the century in a play where handkerchiefs cause homicides and appearances literally kill.

[A] Much Ado About Nothing | Don Pedro prescribes emotional homeopathy, suggesting you cure heartbreak by doubling down on feelings.

[A] Macbeth | Lady Macbeth's toxic positivity manifesto, turning murder into a self-improvement project with terrible Yelp reviews.

[C] Hamlet | Polonius claims short equals smart, then immediately launches into history's longest, most tedious speeches about everything.

[A] The Merchant of Venice | The scroll inside the golden casket basically says "gotcha!" to superficial suitors everywhere.

[D] The Merchant of Venice | Launcelot promises secrets don't keep, accurate in Venice where everyone gossips like it's an Olympic sport.

[B] Romeo and Juliet | Juliet questions nomenclature while her surname is literally signing her death certificate in iambic pentameter.

[A] The Merchant of Venice | Portia's legendary courtroom speech about mercy, delivered while disguised as a lawyer without a law degree.

[B] Macbeth | The witches establish moral relativism in Scotland, where regicide becomes a valid career path apparently.

[D] Henry VI, Part 2 | Dick the Butcher's modest proposal that accidentally became every law school graduation's favorite ironic quote.

[D] All's Well That Ends Well | The Countess gives life advice that sounds simple until you try it with actual humans.

[C] Hamlet | Polonius strikes gold with authentic living advice, ironic from Shakespeare's sneakiest, least authentic character alive.

[D] Romeo and Juliet | The balcony scene's endless goodbye loop, proving teenagers invented not hanging up first.

[D] A Midsummer Night's Dream | Bottom wakes up from his donkey dream, processing the weirdest workplace harassment case in theatrical history.

[A] As You Like It | Jaques delivers Shakespeare's meta-commentary about theater while literally standing in a theater, inception-style.

[A] Twelfth Night | Viola's gender-bending admission that makes pronoun discussions look simple by comparison to Elizabethan identity crisis.

[B] Twelfth Night | Fake letter advice that convinces Malvolio to dress like a traffic cone and smile creepily at his boss.

[D] Measure for Measure | Lucio accidentally invents every motivational poster while discussing Vienna's sketchy justice system and consent issues.

[C] Hamlet | Polonius advises listening more than talking, then spends three acts never shutting up ever.

[C] The Passionate Pilgrim | Shakespeare's poetry collection drops truth about friendship being rarer than verified Twitter accounts.

[B] Cymbeline | Iachimo asks courage for backup before sneaking into bedrooms, making boldness sound criminal rather than inspirational.

[C] Julius Caesar | Cassius denies astrology while convincing Brutus to commit history's most famous friend betrayal ever.

[C] The Comedy of Errors | Balthazar explains that enthusiasm beats fancy food, the Renaissance version of "it's the thought that counts."

[A] Othello | Iago explains time flies when you're ruining lives, making evil sound like a productivity hack.