100-Question Jewish Trivia Quiz (3)

[C] Solomon | Solomon's wisdom attracted international visitors and generated 3,000 proverbs. He could judge baby custody cases but couldn't manage his 700 wives' competing interests.

[A] Jezebel | Jezebel promoted Baal worship and murdered prophets for breakfast. Her name became synonymous with evil women, though she was basically just religiously committed to the wrong religion.

[B] Kiss it | Dropping a prayer book requires an apologetic kiss, like cosmic courtesy after celestial clumsiness. It's reflexive for many Jews, even with secular books sometimes.

[D] Matzah | Matzah is flour and water baked within 18 minutes to prevent rising. It tastes like edible cardboard but symbolizes freedom, proving liberation sometimes requires sacrifice.

[D] Rosh Hashanah | The ram's horn blast awakens spiritual consciousness and terrifies neighborhood dogs. One hundred blasts ensure everyone's thoroughly awakened or thoroughly deaf.

[C] Siddur | The siddur contains daily prayers arranged by some ancient committee that clearly never worried about service length. Modern versions include transliteration for Hebrew-challenged congregants.

[A] Yom Kippur | Yom Kippur's fast includes no water, making breath mints religiously contraband. Synagogues smell interesting by afternoon services, mixing piety with dehydration.

[B] Sukkot | Jews build temporary huts and eat outside for a week, weather permitting. It commemorates desert wandering while testing modern suburban neighbor relations.

[D] Ruth | Ruth's "where you go, I go" speech launched a thousand wedding readings. A Moabite who became King David's great-grandmother, proving immigrants strengthen nations.

[B] ordinary bread | Regular bread is forbidden, along with anything remotely fermented. Ashkenazi Jews also avoid rice and beans, because apparently suffering requires regional variations.

[B] Hezekiah | He removed high places, smashed idols, and centralized worship in Jerusalem, even breaking the bronze serpent that had become an object of veneration.

[C] Queen Salome Alexandra | Salome Alexandra ruled nine peaceful years, proving women could govern without constant warfare. Historians barely mention her, presumably because peace makes boring reading.

[A] Zipporah | Moses' wife Zipporah performed emergency circumcision on their son, saving Moses from divine wrath. She proved that behind every great prophet is an exasperated spouse.

[D] Ladino | Ladino mixed Spanish with Hebrew, creating Sephardic Yiddish. It preserved medieval Spanish longer than Spain did, proving exile sometimes preserves culture better than homelands.

[B] 8 | Diaspora Jews add an extra day to holidays because ancient calendar uncertainty. Modern technology solved this, but tradition keeps the extra day for bonus holiday calories.

[C] Passover | Passover's freedom celebration involves extensive cleaning, cooking, and dietary restrictions. Jews celebrate liberation through labor, proving irony isn't just Greek.

[C] Esther | Esther hid her Judaism until genocide threatened, then revealed it to save her people. History's most successful coming-out story, with better costumes than pride parades.

[A] Pesach | "Pesach" means "passing over," referring to death passing over Israelite homes. The angel of death apparently needed lamb's blood GPS to avoid Jewish houses.

[D] Chesed | Chesed encompasses loving-kindness beyond obligation. It's doing good because it's right, not for cosmic credit points or social media likes.

[B] Shavuot | Shavuot marks the Sinai revelation with dairy foods and all-night study. Jews celebrate receiving 613 commandments by eating cheesecake, proving we understand positive reinforcement.

[C] Dayenu | "Dayenu" lists 15 divine favors, each supposedly sufficient alone. It's basically thanksgiving with increasingly dramatic gratitude, sung while slightly wine-impaired.

[D] Four | Four cups represent different aspects of redemption, ensuring everyone's pleasantly fuzzy by the afikomen. Elijah gets a fifth cup he never drinks.

[B] Shatnez | No mixing wool and linen, because apparently God cares about textile combinations. Modern Jews check labels religiously, literally.

[A] Hamantaschen | These triangular cookies represent Haman's hat or ears, depending on your violence preference. Filled with poppy seeds or jam, they're edible anti-Semitism revenge.

[B] Woody Guthrie | Folk legend Woody Guthrie wrote Hanukkah songs while living in Brooklyn. He proved you don't need to be Jewish to appreciate eight nights of presents.

[D] Simchat Torah | Simchat Torah celebrates completing the Torah reading cycle with dancing, candy, and occasionally dropping heavy scrolls. It's basically Jewish graduation day annually.

[A] Havdalah | A multisensory ritual that “separates” sacred time from weekday life: blessing over wine, smelling spices, and gazing at the flame of a braided multi-wick candle.

[C] Yom Kippur | The Day of Atonement involves apologizing to everyone and God. It's annual mandatory forgiveness, though some grudges definitely survive until next year.

[A] Hanukkah | The Maccabees rededicated the Temple after defeating Greeks who tried hellenizing Judaism. We celebrate military victory with fried foods, proving Jews understand ironic celebration.

[D] Sewing clothing while someone is wearing it | This supposedly sews up their memory or luck. Jewish grandmothers enforce this strictly, though the theological basis remains mysterious.

[B] Kashrut | Kashrut's complex rules determine what's kosher. It involves animal treatment, food combination, and enough certification symbols to require a decoder ring.

[C] Aramaic | Aramaic was the street language while Hebrew stayed sacred. Jesus probably spoke Aramaic, making the New Testament a translation of a translation.

[B] Maimonides | Maimonides merged Aristotle with Torah, practiced medicine, and wrote extensively. He proved you could be religiously devoted while embracing secular knowledge.

[A] January 1 | Eight days after December 25th is January 1st. Early Christians celebrated Christ's brit milah on New Year's, making resolutions and circumcision oddly connected.

[D] Ahab | Ahab let Jezebel introduce Baal worship while he focused on real estate acquisition. Their partnership proved that power couples can be powerfully destructive.

[C] Talmud | The Talmud records centuries of rabbinical arguments about everything. It's basically ancient Reddit threads about religious law, but with better scholarship.

[B] Sefer Hasidim | This 13th-century text guided German Jewish pietists through medieval life. It covered everything from business ethics to ghost stories, proving religion addresses all concerns.

[C] Hold a baby shower before the baby's birth | Pre-birth celebrations supposedly attract evil eye's attention. Jewish babies get welcomed after arrival, when evil spirits apparently lose interest.

[A] Anna | Anna the prophetess recognized infant Jesus at the Temple. She was 84 and widowed for decades, proving prophetic insight improves with age and solitude.

[D] Judah Maccabee | Judah "The Hammer" Maccabee led guerrilla warfare against Greek occupation. His victory gave us Hanukkah, proving that underdogs with good tactics can win.